I’ve been thinking.

I've been dee in thunk!
I’ve been deep in thunk!

I’ve been thinking.

I have written and published twelve novels over a period of five years. That has been done with the help of my beloved partner Brigitte. Without her support and the freedom and encouragement she provided, I’d never have been able to do this. My editor Miriam also played a role, a role more important than I think she knows.  I am proud of the work. I think I found a true and original voice and used it to tell stories about what is good in humans and the cultures they make. I found stories that speak of what love and integrity can achieve. Stories about characters that are real and inspiring and a little alternative and exotic. 

People who have read my work have been kind and said good things and they are loyal and supportive and want me to continue. They say I have a great talent for story telling and creating characters. They say I am a good, even a great writer.

However… (yes there’s always one of those lurking)… However, I have struggled to find acceptance through sales.  A recent exercise putting some of my books in a new Café Bookshop resulted in the dispiriting message : “Yes we have sold twenty books of various writers but none of yours. It’s early days.”

That started me thinking about what I write and how I write. I began to question myself. Is it worth pursuing the current work, Beloved Warrior, which follows Prairie Companions in my historical trilogy?

I find I’ve lost my voice and stumbled into a block created by doubts.

Is being true to ones self and having an original, honest, non-conformist bravery, worth continuing if no one wants to read the work?

Or does the problem lie with marketing, covers, descriptions, cover blurb and presentation.

Or is the problem that there really is a very small market for literary fiction?

Would I be better served writing vampire fantasy or erotic soft porn or what ever the latest hot thing is?

Could I write such stuff. I have the skills to tell any kind of story I choose but do I have the will?

The answer is no. A resounding NO. I will not cave.

I will not give up on the idea that people still want real literature that moves them and changes their views, provides escape and inspires and makes them  to laughter and makes them cry and root for the hero’s. Am imperfect hero, brave and flawed and real.

I believe in you the reader and must find a better way to bring my work to you. To make it accessible and not put you off with wrong covers or poorly written blurb. If I can’t do this myself then I’ll find people who can help me do it.

That is the next step. Find people like Miriam, to help me keep my voice alive and help me overcome the things that hold me back. Help me take away the doubts so I can find my muse again and do what I love best, tell great stories.

If you are such a person then I want to hear from you. You need to be prepared to take a small risk and not expect a big fat fee up front.

2 thoughts on “I’ve been thinking.

  1. brigitte moody May 14, 2013 / 8:59 pm

    Please believe in yourself. I do and although I know that won’t sell books but keep focused forward and do what you do so well …… bring characters to life. Bx

  2. Margie Brimer May 14, 2013 / 11:48 pm

    Wow! I can feel your internal struggle. I admire your strong spirit!

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